First Shift Justice Project Book Club- What Are Children For? On Ambivalence and Choice by Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman
Welcome back to the First Shift Justice Project book club. This month, I will be focusing on What Are Children For? On Ambivalence and Choice by Anastasia Berg and Rachel Wiseman.
What Are Children For? goes deep on the narratives and meta-narratives we tell ourselves about the purpose of having children, both as individuals and in society as a whole. While the book delves into the potential psychology and environments of people who are ambivalent about having children, it is structured in such a way that presents that ambivalence as a mere obstacle to conquer before arriving at the proscribed end goal of having a child. The main sections are full of research on material conditions and reference to other materials, either scholarly, argumentative, or creative, about how and why people decide to have children. However, the introduction and conclusion are where the authors’ true preferences shine through. Both authors are writers and close friends, one of whom has a child and one of whom who does not.
The book opens with the childless author’s reflections on her many years not desiring children (though closes with the brief reveal that she and her partner have started undergoing IVF treatments) and closes with the author who is a mother’s understandings of how her life has been existentially enriched by her child. In between, they proceed to debunk common reasons they’ve found that people express for not having children- not finding the right
partner, not being able to parent under equitable social conditions, concerns about the long-term health of the planet and what type of world their child would be born into, and that being a parent would prevent them from reaching their full career or artistic potential. Pretty valid concerns, all things considered.
While the authors may not give the genuinely ambivalent population of people who could have children the credence they deserve, they still raise some instructive points for creating a world where caregiving is respected, regardless of who actually has birthed a child, especially in the second chapter, “The Dialectic of Motherhood,” (pgs. 79-132). First Shift looks to support and empower caregivers of all types, whether you’re a birthing parent, a non-birthing parent, an adoptive parent, or caregiving for a sibling or parent yourself. We work hard to ensure that all caregivers, not just natal parents, know their rights and can find legal support for the issues they are having at work.
Drawing on the work of thinkers like Adrienne Rich and bell hooks, the authors posit that all people “must commit ourselves to sharing equal responsibility in parenting,” and come to an understanding that “fatherhood has the same meaning and significance as motherhood,” (pg. 125). Doing so will allow for a more generative space for all people to love, care, and nurture their families without the normative assumptions that these tasks are the sole purview of one gender or one person. The authors extend the same reasoning to the decision to have children- that “what women need from their partners is not for them to leave them alone with the question “should I have children?” but to join them in asking it together,” (pg. 131).
Whether you are a parent, a caregiver for a family member, or still ambivalent about the question of having children in the first place, you can join First Shift in creating a world where people have more time and space to provide relational caring of all kinds, free of the worry that they will lose their jobs when they do it. Though, as First Shift’s resident book club admin, I do wish that I could recommend the book more strongly. Not every book club pick can be a winner! We still thank you for spending your time with us, reading this review.
Hopefully we’ll catch you again here next time!
By: Allison Tallering
