A New Puppy and the Commonalities of Parenting and Caregiving

Last week, my family got a puppy. This is our first family puppy, and the first puppy I’ve ever had. Needless to say, my kids are ecstatic. Me? I might be in over my head. She’s adorable and I know she’s going to be a wonderful addition to our household. But, starting that first night, I was immediately reminded of my days as a brand new parent. 

My kids are currently 4 and 7. While motherhood is not necessarily easier than it was at the very beginning, it is certainly different. Their emotions - the highs and the lows, are evolving, their needs are different, and our challenges have, in many ways, become more complex. I may have forgotten - or suppressed - the middle of the night wakings, the messes, and the constant feeding. I’d forgotten about the frequent doctor’s appointments and child proofing the house. But above all, I’d forgotten that feeling of not knowing if you’re “doing it right” as a new parent. My new puppy reminded me of all of that.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments - many times a day, in fact - where I question my decisions as they relate to my kids. However, 7 years in, I feel slightly more equipped to navigate parenthood. But, as I was up with our new puppy at 4:00 am, tired from having already woken up with her at 2:00 am, listening to her cry in her cage, and wondering if I really needed to take her out in the rain or if she could stay in her cage for a couple more hours, I remembered that feeling of having absolutely no idea what I’m doing.

I think there are many commonalities between parents and caregivers, one of them being uncertainty. Not all the time or over every decision, but I imagine that most parents and caregivers have moments of doubt. It sets in early and refines itself over the different stages of parenthood. That’s one of the things I love about my work at First Shift Justice Project - the conversations that I get to have with new parents and caregivers about the aspects of parenting that unite us. Those commonalities that we all experience - the moments of uncertainty, the fatigue, and the occasional desire for a moment alone, but also the excitement over met milestones and unwavering pride. In between very important discussions about their legal rights as soon-to-be or new parents and caregivers, I get to engage in meaningful conversations about what it means to be a parent - from the challenges we face to the joys we experience. 

So did I need to take the puppy out at 4:00 am in the pouring rain? I have no idea, but I did anyway. I don’t know how to train her to walk on a leash or to sit on command. But, as I did 7 years ago when I first became a parent, and like so many other caregivers and parents, I’ll figure it out. Because that’s what parents do. 

By: Rosalind Herendeen